Rollins00861: why is Chingy named Chingy?
Mistuh Al: NO!
IllStc2this1: lmao
Mistuh Al: she'd peck me to death
Rollins00861: anyone?
IllStc2this1: um that gurl that was here with the really sluty clothes
Franknbeans5: <=============pics on profile
Franknbeans5: i m dead sexy
Franknbeans5: yea, im a sexy bish
OnlineHost: Blazic7 has left the room.
Mistuh Al: NO!
OnlineHost: JMPROAUDIO has entered the room.
IllStc2this1: franky my cuzin
Franknbeans5: slutty clothes? (Perk)
Mistuh Al: but u gots the house right
Rollins00861: anyone at all?
Proxes: why did my mom name me Troy?
RockPaperScizzas: 19/m
OnlineHost: Aluky14u has left the room.
IllStc2this1: franky your a bish now eh?
Proxes: and not Bill or John or Ralph or ...
Mistuh Al: it was the girl that play'd w/my boobs
IllStc2this1: hmmm the house right

And, as we all know, AOL chat rooms are the epitome of all knowledge about pop culture. Anyway, this Chingy guy has a song on the radio called "Right Thurr." Yes, I misspelled the word "there" because that’s the way this retard spelled it on his CD. Apparently, the education system wherever he’s from (don’t email me about it because I don’t care and I don’t want to live there EVER) teaches kids to spell words like THURR and HURR while they’re being FUCKING STUPID.

I listen to this song every time I hear it on the radio. Basically, I listen to the radio during my morning and evening drives to and from work. Every time I’ve gotten in my truck in the afternoon, it’s on one of the various shitty radio stations we have in this town.

It occurred to me that, even though he sounds like every other brain-dead rap bitch out there with no talent, I really have no idea what this guy is saying. OK, I kinda do. I just don’t understand the appeal of it here in Kansas frickin’ City...the Midwest...lots of white kids running around up here who want to be THUGGISH and RUGGISH and BONE-ISH or something, I guess. But how is a 14 year old supposed to understand what our victim of Down’s Syndrome, Chingy, is saying?

So, I thought I’d do a series of rap lyrics explanations. Hopefully, this will clear up any misunderstandings for both young and old.

This is the translation and dissection of the only song by Chingy that’s out right now. It’s from his album, "Jackpot," in stores now. Judging on the merits of this one song, the entire CD will make you want to blow your brains out. My translation comes in italics. If any of the lyrics are wrong or misspelled, don’t bitch at me...bitch at the place I got ‘em. And I’m not giving the link for that. KTHXBYE

Uhn...Ay Dirty (What?),
look at that girl right there,
ooh she make me say Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh do what you do....

See, here’s Chingy and his gay friend in drag, Dirty, discussing the merits of a girl "right there." Now, from the start, the song’s name is "Right Thurr"...so why the hell do the lyrics say "right there?" Unless it’s just typical rap bullshit. Anyway, it makes Chingy say ooh, oh, and do what you do. I’m sure this is code for Dirty to start lubing up.

[Chorus]
I like the way you do that right there(right there),
switch ya hips when ya walking, let down ya hair,(down ya hair)

OK, Chingy likes the way she does "that right there." What "that" is, I don’t know. Neither does the listener. All you know is that it’s "right there." She switches her hips, which apparently makes her hairpins from the Dollar Store fall out, hence "let down ya hair."

I like the way you da that right there(right there),
Lick ya lips when ya talking that make me stare (make me stare)

Again, he likes the way she does that right there. I know he said that before, but he’s reiterating for the mentally RETARDED listeners who will snatch up copies of this guys CD like a fat chick snatches up a porkchop dipped in mayonnaise. Chingy obviously does not like women who talk. He likes when she licks her lips and talks...it makes him stare. That’s all. It makes him stare at some chick with her tongue hanging out of her mouth like a dead fucking cow while talking. Try it sometime. I guarantee you’ll say something similar to "MMM mm m mmm m mrm."

[Verse 1]
I like the way ya look in them pants,
shit ya fine, lil momma a quater piece, she far from a dime,

Chingy likes the way she looks in pants, then wants her to somehow poop some sort of fine. What sort of fine, Chingy leaves up to our imagination. If stupidity fines were issued, all proceeds from this song would go to the Great White Caught My Sister On Fire Charity. Anyway, he proceeds to discuss that, not only would he pay 10 cents for her, but he’d pay a quarter. That’s what chicks love to hear. Maybe that’s where the Chingy name comes from...when his career is over six months from now, all you’ll hear in his pockets is that dime and quarter he has left.

The type of girl that'll get ya up and go make ya grind,
I'm thinking bout snatching her up dirty, making her mine,

Now, this girl isn’t just a normal girl, of course. She’s the type who will make you get up, take a perfectly good steak out of the freezer, and thaw it out for grinding into hamburger. Remember his gay friend Dirty from the first line of the song? In the second line, Chingy says he’ll snatch her up dirty...reading into it, he wants to snatch her up like he snatches up Dirty. It makes one wonder if Dirty is lubed and ready to go yet. Dirty hasn’t said anything because he is being humilitated by his lover, Chingy.

Look at her hips, BUT, look at her legs, aint she stacked?
I shole wouldn't mind hittin that from the back,

Here, Chingy is STILL talking about the same goddamn girl he’s been droning on and on about for the past minute. We got the point a while ago, but he can’t stop just yet. He wants to tell us how she’s "stacked." Remember Brick House? "She’s a brick.....HOUSE..." Chingy loves donkey punching fat chicks and gay drag queens like Dirty.

I like it when I touch her cause she moan a lil bit,
jeans saggin, so I can see her thong a lil bit,

Now Chingy gets a little gross, getting into his masturbatory overtures, imagining he’s touching her. He likes saggy jeans and thongs...in other words, he likes trashy hookers.

I know you grown a lil bit, 20 years old you legal,
don't trip off my people just hop in the regal,

Now this line pissed me off some. Grown a little bit? This guy is a blatant child molester. How? He’s checking her age, right? Ask yourself "what if she wasn’t legal and he was checking her out like that? Would he stop?" I doubt it. Then he goes on to talk about how he doesn’t want her to trip on anything getting into his car. Something tells me he keeps candy in the glove compartment for those who aren’t "legal."

I swooped on her like a eagle, swoop down as prey,
I know you popular, but you gone be famous today, I say..

And on he goes, talking about how he SWOOPED on her like an EAGLE. She’s popular (yet another high school kid reference) but NOW SHE’LL BE FAMOUS! You know, because he swooped on her and, at the time he wrote this, no one knew who the hell he was. NOW SHE’LL BE FAMOUS FO SHO!

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2]
She be shopping at Frontenac, just look at her front-and-back,
man she so stacked, and she know that I want that,

Translating his fucking stupid peculiar use of bastard English language, he says she shops at Frontenac because of her front and back. I’m not sure what her shopping habits have to do with anything, but it means she’s fat stacked. He wants that. She knows it. You know, because he swooped on her and now she’s famous.

her man he so wack, girl can I taste yo cat?
Gave her 300 to strip, like buying a throwback,

Her "man" here is a smooth pimp, giving up $300 for her to strip. Chingy being Chingy, he wants to hook up with this fat stacked stripper, but he only has 25 cents.

she stay in the club,like to be seen,
she got it honest, In real life girl remind me of Pocahontas,

Here, Chingy laments at the fact that she IS a stripper, saying she stays at the club. She obviously enjoys her job, and Chingy feels sorry for her. Then, he continues to mourn for her, equating her stripping job to a dead Indian woman who married a white guy. ROF OMG CHINGY GOTZ JUNGEL FEVA YOZ WTF LMAO LOL!!~1`1

she be at events, stop the press when she pass,
all the high rollin cats wanna pay for that Ass,

But this girl is no low-class stripper, no sirree Bob. She also strips for the rich and famous...which is a travesty if you’ve ever seen the movie Requiem For A Dream. Everyone wants to pay for her, and Chingy is extremely jealous that he only has a quarter for her.

aint no half steppin, she strapped wit a nice weapon, trip,
It's against the law for her to move them hips,

To protect herself from low lifes like Chingy, she carries a weapon. From what I understand, guns are popular with these people. Chingy then makes up his own Federal laws.

If you ever seen her dirty,
yo mouth gone drop, world wide fools probaly tell you this off tops

Chingy is trying to get his friend, Dirty, into a threeway with the hooker girl. I have no idea what the rest of this damn lyric means. Probably typical bullshit rap guys say just to make something rhyme.

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3]
I like the way she doing that,
plus I like it when she bring it back say,

Chingy likes the way she strips, yet his frustration is apparent when in the next line below...

Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh, do what you do,
whoo...I like the way she doing that,

Chingy is now jerking off for his pal, Dirty.

Plus I like it when she bring it back say,
Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh, do what you do,

He repeats the above verse to make his point clear – he wants Dirty to watch.

give me what you got for a pork chop,
Uhn, she threw it at me like I was a short stop,

Now the girl is throwing her mayonnaise-drenched porkchops Chingy’s way. It’s evident Chingy doesn’t have enough money for food, much less her, and her pity is endearing to him. It makes him feel as though he’s playing baseball.

Huh, Twirking in a fatty girl hultur top,
then she backed it up on me, then let it drop(drop),

Here’s another reference to her obesity and his ease with it. She’s in a halter top. You guys know the one he’s talking about. Super tight, where you can see the back fat rolls. Then, apparently, she underestimates her poundage, and falls off stage.

make it hot BOING!, Like a bunny,
girl can I touch you where it's sunny,

Chingy wants his partner to watch him go "BOING" like a bunny. He then wants to touch her NOT WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE, but where it does. As much as he says he’s into this stripper bitch, he wants to touch her arm or something. You know, because she’s famous.

Her appearance'll make you give her some money,
she should post for sports illustrated,

More stripper references. Chingy knows he’s going into overkill here.

it's like a picture perfect sight when she past,
all the other girls hate it,but..

More nonsense.

[Chorus x2]

I like that, I like that, I like that, I like that,
track stars, oh,oh,oh, do what you do
I like that(yeah), I like that(yeah), I like that(yeah) ,I like that(Chingy),
oh,oh,oh,oh do what you do

And a last bit of masturbatory fantasy for his pal.

And there you have it folks. Chingy, I hate you. A lot. Your song sucks, your music sucks and you need to stop trying to go out with strippers.  Oh well.  At least he's not as bad as THESE three: