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I
Wish.
by
The Reverend Dr.
J. Teachum, 9-22-2003 |
I consider myself an adult now. I think I've learned all of those
important lessons that separate children from adults. Among the lessons is the harsh
reality that things can't always go as planned. Think back to you childhood. Do you
remember sending Santa your wish-list every year before Christmas? You never got a pony
did you? You never got the cool, expensive toy that the kid who lived down the street did
either, huh? Wishing for things was part of growing up, accepting that wishes don't always
come true was an even more important part of growing up. Understanding why wishes can't
always come true is being grown-up. With those things in mind, I submit my new wish-list.
I wish people would stop wishing for stuff and actually work for it.
I wish we weren't always looking for the easiest way out.
I wish I had something more profound to say.
I wish I could change the world.
I wish I could lead the world to a better end.
I wish every restaurant delivered.
I wish all stoplights worked on sensors, and the timed-stoplight was at thing of the past.
I wish I had sex more often.
I wish there was a restaurant called El Hombre Poco at which midgets served gourmet
Mexican food. I wish I had a rocket-propelled skateboard.
I wish I'd have grown-up to be someone more influential.
I wish I had a beer-fountain.
I wish I could afford to buy a new power-tool every day.
I wish I'd have paid more attention in school.
I wish I would win the lottery.
I wish marijuana was legal.
I wish women really wanted a nice guy, and not an asshole that they've convinced
themselves they can change into a nice guy.
I wish there was no such thing as cancer.
I wish fat people would wear loose-fitting clothing.
I wish it was cool to be educated.
I wish the music industry was actually about music.
I wish every child had an equal chance.
I wish adults would behave as adults.
I wish the government that's "by the people and for the people" functioned
accordingly.
I wish skin-tone didn't matter so.
I wish the legal drinking age was 18.
I wish everyone had a job.
I wish you a good day.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say "If I had a nickel..."
I wish you were here.
I wish I was elsewhere.
I wish I were stupid as you are.
I wish I had a bigger TV.
I wish I had a million dollars.
I wish I had something better to do with my time.
I wish you a merry Christmas... and a happy new year.
I wish I had a dozen beautiful naked women fanning me and feeding me grapes right now.
I wish all of the world's religions were blended into one.
I wish I was a little bit taller.
I wish they could see me now!
I wish I had a fleet of really awesome cars.
I wish I had my own private bar.
I wish I really cared how a person was doing when I said, "Hey, how are you
doin'?"
I wish God really did exist.
I wish your mom could be here to see this.
I wish I had a slice of Torres' white pizza right now.
I wish one's salary reflected the actual contributions one makes to society and teachers
were paid more than professional athletes and entertainers.
I wish I could make a difference.
I wish there was a commercial-free radio station in town.
I wish bacon was "good for you."
I wish I could count past twenty without getting completely naked.
I wish I owned a yacht.
I wish Hef would invite me to party at the Playboy mansion.
I wish Tom Green would give up comedy.
I wish I was half as smart as I claim to be.
I wish cops weren't such assholes.
I wish I had my own bowling alley.
I wish there was no such thing as diarrhea.
Unfortunately while wishes don't always...SHIT HAPPENS.-- The Reverend Dr. J. Teachum
Talk about your own wishes on
the Hoodratz forum. Just go, goddammit. |
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