If there's anything kids want to do, it's grow up. It's too bad there are far too many adults who can't have the same youthful wishes, but hey, you can't hold someone's hand forever.

Recently, I've been watching a lot of The Disney Channel. Now, any rational person knows there's one thing Disney's good at, and that's fucking things up. Everyone's pretty much seen The Lion King and the other travesties of stories and movies Disney has positively screwed up. 101 Dalmations is another great example. Remember Cruella DeVille? Yeah, in the original Italian story, the dogs EAT Ms. DeVille.

I think I would have liked that a lot better when I was young...it would be a much better ending now.

Since Disney's a pro at screwing everything up, you knew it was only a matter of time before they started advertising collections of children's albums called Kidz Bop (released by Razor and Tie Records). Get the Z? It's all crazy wack funky! We shouldn't expect kids to put an S at the end of plural nouns...it should be a Z! Disney reinforces English!

Anyway, Kidz Bop is basically an album made with some wanna-be studio musicians taking the place of the original bands and having a chorus of little bastard kids sing parts of the lyrics. Yeah. Remember how your parents never *really* wanted to go to your stupid plays when you were a kid? Wanna know why? Because it SUCKED. No one needs to tell someone else that a bunch of kids singing Christmas or Easter or WHATEVER songs is gonna suck. Just because they're pop songs aren't going to make them any better or more enjoyable.

Yeah, right. Like I said before, kids want to grow up. Listening to music older kids listen to makes 'em feel a little more grown up.

But yet, R&T Records thought it would be a good idea to have a CD full of adult themes and concepts and market it to kids. I'm sure it is if all you want to do is make money and warp a bunch of kids into listening to shitty music.

Here's the track list:

1. Since U Been Gone, originally performed by Kelly Clarkson
2. I Don’t Want To Be, originally performed by Gavin Degraw
3. Obsession (No Es Amor), originally performed by Frankie J
4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, originally performed by Green Day
5. Caught Up, originally performed by Usher
6. Rich Girl, originally performed by Gwen Stefani
7. Let Me Love You, originally performed by Mario
8. Vertigo, originally performed by U2
9. 1, 2 Step, originally performed by 50 Cent
10. Lonely No More, originally performed by Rob Thomas
11. Over and Over, originally performed by Nelly and Tim McGraw
12. Nobody’s Home, originally performed by Avril Lavigne
13. Incomplete, originally performed by The Backstreet Boys
14. 1 Thing, originally performed by Amerie
15. True, originally performed by Ryan Cabrera
16. Let Me Go, originally performed by 3 Doors Down
17. Karma, originally performed by Alica Keys
18. Take Me Out, originally performed by Franz Ferdinand

So...pretty much a line up of popular (but not necessarily good) songs.

Now, I'm sure you're expecting a big long story about how much this CD suck sucks suck sucks or something.  NOPE.  Remember the headline?  This is an audio review.  Yep...courtesy of my pals over at TehInternet and "some d00d" over at the Superforums, we got together via Skype and recorded us talking about the CD.

Here's a little early pay off for you, though: You get to hear me sing a couple of song lyrics.

So go ahead.  Listen up.  No time, you say?  Easy -- just save it and listen on your handy little iPod.  No iPod?  Well, OK...then just save it and listen at your convenience.  No speakers?  TOUGH.  Spring for the frickin' $10 and buy yourself a set of crappy little speakers.  If you're not on broadband, I'm sorry about that.  Really.

And don't ask me for money, either.

Audio Review: Kidz Bop 8
(listening time: 34:53)

-The Superforum Staff