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Normally, I wouldn't like drug-referenced sites, but I like the guy who writes here.

 The Next "Michael Moore"!
By T2, 2-20-04

Recently, I’m sure all of you know, but Morgan Spurlock has had a revelation. This stallion of a man concluded that eating McDonald’s food nonstop would make you unhealthy. Sweet Zombie JESUS, what a shocker, man! I’ve been eating there for years, and I never once thought, “Man, all of this grease probably isn’t good for me.' Thanks for looking out for me, Morg."

For those of you who aren’t up to speed, that last paragraph was sarcasm. Say it with me...SAR-CHA-SM. I’m surprised this guy got awards at the Sundance Film Festival, but then again…I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what the target audience is. I’m guessing something like starving 7 or 8 year olds. I’m sure he had lots of pictures of Happy Meals and such he used to bribe the audience, or maybe they were illiterate, so they thought they were going to get a decent meal for once.

Whatever the reason, he DID win, and is now the “next Michael Moore” because of it, and is getting all kinds of publicity for eating lots of McDonalds, and turning the entire deal into a real world type thing.

Spurlock claims that his genius idea came to him after Thanksgiving dinner in 2002. He had just finished gorging himself, and saw that McDonald's was defending itself against the fat kids who tried to sue them. They said that they offer healthy alternatives and Spurlock became offended or something, thus deciding to go on his crusade against McDonald's. He came up with the “ingenious” idea of eating McDonald's three times a day for a month.

t2mcdoctor.jpg (42314 bytes)
Need…More…Publicity…

Now, the articles I’ve read thus far have not stated how much Spurlock ate before the stunt (I assume metabolism plays a role in how much weight you gain), nor does it mention how much he exercised or if he actually paid attention to the nutrition facts and ate the way he was supposed to. Spurlock just goes to say, without any previous statements besides weight, what he’s doing is there to prove a point.

I’m sure that if he did exercise, or count calories, his condition wouldn’t be as grave after that month as it was. He did say that his libido waned, which would explain why calories weren’t being burnt (editor's note: or it could just be he's GAY -- Ninja R). Perhaps it was because his vegan girlfriend realized he was making up for all the meat she didn’t eat, and it was really HER sex drive that was suffering. Whatever the case, all of Spurlock’s finger pointing at Mcdonald’s seems to have missed this guy:

t2mcmac.jpg (38349 bytes)
Spurlock Kryptonite.

This guy, Donald Gorske, as of March 7th, 2002 (a full 518 Big Macs before Spurlock got his idea) has had 18,250 Big Macs since the beginning of his quest in 1972. He consumes at least 2 a day, and almost went insane once because he was trapped inside during a snow-storm and couldn’t get to McDonald’s. Look at the guy. He’s not a whale. He’s 6 feet tall and weighs a healthy 178 pounds. I wonder if Spurlock got to interview him for the movie. I doubt it...that’d be pointing out that maybe he’s not 100% right.

My thoughts are this: Why is it that someone can come up with a common-sense idea, and broadcast it as “breakthrough” or “innovative?” Have we lost so much common sense that we now worship those who reiterate it? In any case, Morgan Spurlock to me, is nothing but a plagiarist. Don’t believe me? I seem to remember another guy gaining weight so he didn’t have to do actual work…

t2mchomer.jpg (36854 bytes)

I can’t honestly be “fair and balanced” about the entire thing without checking out the movie, but I will do a review of the movie as soon as it comes out in theaters. Then I’ll know if my guess is right. Until then, hold your frickin’ horses.

t2mcvisit.jpg (44515 bytes)

-- T2
See? You are not alone.  At any rate, you know there are other weirdos like you who have too much time on their hands and read this site.  Don't worry.  This site wraps its IP packets in plain brown envelops marked, "Hot Sex Action Books" so your neighbors won't know you've been here.  Anyway, to the extent this counter means something, it gives the number of hits we've received since March 19, 2006.  Whatever.