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I'm writing this in honour of one of the most beautiful women on the planet -- the only ones hotter being the Olsen Twins and that chick who played Alex Mack. This woman is a true role model for young girls and women and is all about how the average female should look and take care of themselves. I'm writing this about a woman who selfishly gives up her time to help out the needy to help them live a better life. This woman is none other than Paris Hilton.

Now that's hot!

Paris first made me stand to attention -- err, I mean, came to my attention -- when a video of her performing sexual acts surfaced on the Internet. Straight way, this told me two things: first, she knows how to please her man; and second, the oral she gives shows that she is unselfish even behind closed doors. After it finished, I sat there wondering who this Paris chick was and what she did to gain celebrity status...and how, if she could, to make this world a better place. So I cleaned myself up and went to find out.

Paris gives every average/ugly girl hope -- hope that, one day, they too can look as good as Miss Hilton does. Paris is the perfect advert for successful plastic surgery. A nip here, a tuck there, and you actually do get to look as hot as her. Now, I know all you female readers are sitting there thinking, ''Rosler, it costs a lot of money.'' Yes, girls, it does, but can you really put a price on beauty?  NO. There you go.

Something Paris gets a lot of shit about is how she lives her life her own way. Quite honestly, I think all of us would love to party seven days a week. She has no husband. No children. No responsibilities. I know a few of you are going to say her actions have an effect on people who see her as a role model. Well, maybe they do, but if chicks followed her examples on how to act, look and go about things, this world would be a pinker, happier place. The only people who complain about this are either fat, ugly chicks who can't put it about or guys who would never get near a chick like this, apart from Ninja R. He hates her because he's gay.

Paris has her own jewelry, perfume and fashion lines and a successful record label -- all crafted from her hardworking hands. She even designs purses where the profits go to help out needy children. She does this out of the goodness of her heart. She doesn't have to help poor, retarded children. She really is a godsend.

Simply amazing.

Whenever I see Paris on the TV, in a magazine or wherever, one thing jumps out at me: confidence. Wherever she goes, she looks good...I mean, just look at her face...eyes like the stars and an enchanting smile. Whenever she talks, she sounds good. Her confident voice shows her pride in her appearance and and shows she wants to look her best in whatever situation she is in. This is something EVERYBODY should do.

Pretty in pink.

So I finally came to the conclusion why I like Paris so much. She looks good. She fucks good. And she is for the greater good -- three things we both already have in common.

A true princess.

- Rosler

Nine out of ten black people love Rosler.