If there's anything that's for damn sure in this world, it's the fact that
there's gonna be a future. You may or may not like it, but I'm here with a prophecy
delivered to me in a cloud of smoke. No, not like most of the prophecies that are
delivered to the Jews in the Old Testament, but more like the fire in my soul being
pulsating into your mind and burning it down as if a homeless man was just trying to keep
himself warm in that empty, corroded, and decrepit space between that skull of yours.
Okay, fine, I was just high.
So here are my predictions.
1. The rap industry will slowly fade away, due to its lack of creativity in the lyricism
department. There will be no revolution of intelligent, political, and meaningful hip hop
and because of the deterioration the current musical trash is spreading like alzheimer's
into the world's consciousness, the people of the world will re-embrace the Macarena as
the new standard of cool. 
It all went downhill after Tupac died
anyway.
2. If you didn't know, there
is a machine in this world that has the ability to create a perfect diamond at a
relatively low cost. If you didn't know, De Beers is the largest holder of diamond
reserves with possession of over 80% of the most expensive material in the world, acquired
through the violent rape of Africa.
Pictured above, the diamond alone was
worth the lives of three African miners.
The diamond industry will
crumble this year and the African Americans that are obsessed with the bling bling in this
nation will finally stop buying diamonds from a company that raped their ancestors harder
than any overseer in the South ever could have.
3. Michael Jackson claims that he was brutalized by the police. Michael Jackson suddenly
has a business trip he must take to England. Michael Jackson converts to Islam. Michael
Jackson is obviously not guilty, just sick and tired of the American justice system, so he
will proceed to join the terrorist groups in the Middle East and help them fund their
activities by becoming a traveling one man freak show. I'm pretty sure his freakishness
transcends all cultures.
And here's what Jackson would have
looked like if he'd jumped on the bandwagon back in his hey-days.
4. The Kansas City Chiefs will win the Super Bowl. JUST KIDDING. The Chiefs are a bunch of
punjabs. They're not gonna make the Super Bowl. Shit, they're not even gonna get past
their first playoff game. The Chiefs are cursed with good luck at a pointless time. Nice
record, guys, but no ring for you.
So...you fans should get used to seeing
shit like this over and over and over.
5. You will all perpetually
suck my dick. Seriously, you will. You can run around everywhere screaming at the top of
your cock tickling tonsils, but people, if it's an autograph you want, just request one,
already. The Real World is NOT just an MTV show, so go experience it, because you've all
got wisdom like teenage dental patients. Now, I've accepted the fact that you're all my
bitches. It's a day of revelations for all of us, eh?
Class dismissed, children.
Don't forget to leave the
apple on my desk on your way out.
-- The Reality
Check
I wrote this
whole article when I got high...
I think I like this shit because I'm high...
Now I'm the new guy and I know why...
Because I'm high...
Because I'm high...
Because I'm high................... |
