Valentine's Day Activities...
By T2, 2-14-04

Valentine’s day is here, and of course “love” is all around. I say love in quotation marks for the simple fact that a good portion of love on this V-day is either pre-fabricated, forced, or not entirely heart-felt. I know there are a lot of those who think that valentine’s is a splendid time, and for those, more power to you. I just don’t know that it’s a great idea for everyone to celebrate the same day, and in the same way. Look at Christmas! Everyone irritated that a more than usual number of people are shopping the weekends before the big holiday. I say just relax, and do things special or “romantic” on days besides just on the date set aside for it.

For those not having a date though, that can also be a nerve-wracking experience. Seemingly EVERYONE around you has a date, and they’ll be busy this weekend, so you can’t hang around them. You freak out, and in bed, curled up with a stuffed pokémon, and crying yourself to sleep, like I had planned for tonight...
UNTIL NOW!

Thanks to MSN Today, I can now celebrate ten ways to keep this lovey-dovey day from getting under my skin! If I follow one or more of these, I can finally enjoy a valentine’s day! This year, it’s ALL ABOUT ME!

I can now celebrate ten ways to keep this lovey-dovey day from getting under my skin! If I follow one or more of these, I can finally enjoy a valentine’s day! This year, it’s ALL ABOUT ME!

1. Plan a Girl’s Night Out

This is EXACTLY what I need. Me surrounded by women, I will have the appearance of a pimp, therefore I look the part as well act. Having fun with girls, gossiping about boys, and stickers...and whatever else girls do en masse. Maybe one will become enchanted with me, so I’ll actually have a date for next valentine’s day!

A guy can dream, can’t he?

2. Congratulate Yourself for Not Settling

Yes, I tend to give myself many pats on the back, and why not this time! Instead of “girls just don’t like me” I can now say “I’m not tying myself down.” Man…my self esteem is through the roof!

3. Send Some Valentines.

Hey, I already did that!

4. Celebrate You!

Still planning on it. Later tonight, I’ll make myself a nice ramen dinner and drink some fine malt liquor. Seducing myself might be a challenge, I usually don’t give it up so easily. The second I put the Marvin Gaye on, it’s only a matter of time…

5. Recommit Yourself to Living The Best Possible Life.

Hey, I already am with number 4!

6. Enjoy The Money You’re Saving on Cologne and Boxers.

I’m starting to think that this list is geared towards women. Oh well… I like boxers, but I don’t buy cologne, as it’s usually too smelly! Thank god I’m saving money on them. I guess that I won’t buy any new boxers today, I think I’m good. I’ll just do laundry and act like they are new! Thanks, MSN!

7. Celebrate Your Sense of Humor.

THAT is what I forgot. I’m usually easier when things get me laughing. Guess I’ll put in a Mystery Science Theatre, and let Crow, Mike, and Tom Servo laugh the night away. I’ll be giving myself up in no time!

Heh, now they’re making fun of YOUR MOM.

8. Appreciate The Love You Already Have.

Oh I do! Many thanks to the ones of people that love my writing on Hoodratz!

9. Stop Expecting Your Mother’s Life.

Damn. I was looking forward to growing into a grandma someday, but guess that it’s not for me. This section also tells me that I don’t need a man to live my life, and I think they’re right! I can be a sexist pig all by myself! Yay!

10. Blow The Big Day Off.

How CAN I with all of these fun things to do? This part tells me that I have a free pass to do whatever I want, so I guess I will. I’ll start by writing a silly article about this list, and maybe seduce myself. Sounds like a plan!

There you have it. Things you can do instead of being lovey-dovey. Even this article says how most of the over-priced, impossible to get reservations, and over-crowded everything leads to silence or tears. Having high expectations is fine, but when everyone else does too, about the exact same thing you want...tensions will become evident. When you want to buy roses, and everyone else in the county does too, it’ll certainly be a reason for you, the 5 p.m. on valentines day rose hunter, to be mad.

HONEY I COULDN’T FIND A ROSE VALENTINES IS RUINED!

Don’t let this happen to you. My advice for this Valentine’s day is the same as every other holiday. Be creative, have fun, laugh, and relax. It’ll do you good in the long run.

-- T2

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