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Normally, I wouldn't like drug-referenced sites, but I like the guy who writes here.

Yallery! -- Part One of Five
by Ninja R, 5-1-2006

A pastime of mine is hanging out in AOL chat rooms.  Yes, my service provider is AOL.  I know it's dumb; shut your face.  For those of you who don't know anything about AOL, a LOT of retards subscribe to the service. 

I've been with AOL since April 1999.  You can imagine the sheer pain I've had to endure.

Anyway, a young man/woman/space alien has been talking with me and sending me e-mails.  I believe he had a problem with something about race he didn't agree with.  You can view the emails between us here: Yallery E-mails

You might be asking, "R, why are you calling him a man/woman/space alien?"  Well, idiot...if you'd read the e-mail exchanges between us, you'd know.  He/she/space alien claimed to be a space alien...then a chick...and later, I discovered he/she/the space alien was also claiming to be male.

Anyway, last night, I had the distinct privilege of having a reasoned debate with young Yallery for close to two-and-a-half hours.  By "reasoned debate," I mean I fucking owned the little bitch...but remember, I haven't posted an interview in a couple of years, I think.  I really should have been more mean to this silly bitch, but I wanted some answers to a few questions.

But for posterity and humor, I'll let you be the judge of that.

This interview is deliberately broken into five parts.  Why?  Well, to ensure you visit the site five days in a row.  It's a marketing tactic, retard.  Plus, the damn thing is pretty long...Microsoft Word lists it at 8,847 words and 16 pages long.  I realize your attention span is a whopping minute or two, so yeah, I'll break it up for you.

The things I do for you people...but hey, if you do start getting bored, turn it into a drinking game:

1. When Yallery blatantly misspells something, drink.
2. When Yallery is caught in a lie, drink the whole drink.

At the end, I guarantee you'll be shitfaced.

Anyway, here's the interview.  Of course, I'm Ninja R in white text.  YalleryBrown19 is this kid's AIM in Bolshevik fucking red.  That means you can message him/her/space alien on AIM at YalleryBrown19.  It also means you can e-mail him at YalleryBrown19@aol.com.  Should I be less subtle?

YalleryBrown19 [12:25 A.M.]:  hiya ninny...........havent heard from you in quite awhile............thought you didnt get my messages.........but I'm sure you did.........what happened to your mouth?...............seems like when yo ass is proven wrong you become null and void........well like i said................dont fuck with me..........:-D.......see ya..........im sure this message'll turn up in someones chat room...............or hey............maybe im in luck.................maybe you'll send another email......haha

NinjaRv2 [12:25 A.M.]:  nah, I can reply here.

YalleryBrown19 [12:25 A.M.]:  uhuh

NinjaRv2 [12:25 A.M.]:  just a little busy with other things...you don't exactly come high on the priority scale.

NinjaRv2 [12:25 A.M.]:  so...Nokeo.

NinjaRv2 [12:25 A.M.]:  wanna explain your MySpace account where you claim to be a 19 year old.............

NinjaRv2 [12:25 A.M.]:  MALE?

YalleryBrown19 [12:26 A.M.]:  i am 19 and a female.......so call me what u want hunnie

(the last part of that sounds a LOT like something EdWood of THI fame would say to a guy.)

NinjaRv2 [12:26 A.M.]:  I really think you have identity problems.

YalleryBrown19 [12:26 A.M.]:  i go by lost of names in cyberspace

YalleryBrown19 [12:26 A.M.]:  i think your just stupid so..........hey

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  you're*

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  I might be stupid, but I know the difference between you're and your.

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  is that the space alien in you?  able to change genders?

YalleryBrown19 [12:27 A.M.]:  thats the thought in me............i be damn if i let a muthafucka think they know me

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  yeah, it's too much for you to be honest.

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  too much effort, I suppose.

YalleryBrown19 [12:27 A.M.]:  which u seem to assume

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  are all blacks dishonest like this?

YalleryBrown19 [12:27 A.M.]:  i jus told who i am

NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  do you think you represent your race by being dishonest?

YalleryBrown19 [12:28 A.M.]:  at least part of it

NinjaRv2 [12:28 A.M.]:  so part of your race is inherently dishonest.

YalleryBrown19 [12:28 A.M.]:  nigga dont go there

NinjaRv2 [12:28 A.M.]:  well, that makes sense.

NinjaRv2 [12:28 A.M.]:  blacks = partially dishonest

YalleryBrown19 [12:28 A.M.]:  this aint got shit to do wit race...............its a reason you keep talkin to me baby..........am im very curious as to why

NinjaRv2 [12:28 A.M.]:  you still haven't explained why you keep changing genders.

NinjaRv2 [12:29 A.M.]:  that's part of it.

NinjaRv2 [12:29 A.M.]:  I'd also like to know why you believe blacks are inherently dishonest.

YalleryBrown19 [12:29 A.M.]:  why do you still talk to me..............i know you know why

NinjaRv2 [12:29 A.M.]:  I just told you why.

YalleryBrown19 [12:29 A.M.]:  u think that not me

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  you're not answering, Nokeo.

YalleryBrown19 [12:30 A.M.]:  get full on yo own bullshit iigh

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  wait...you're lying, but yet, I'm supposed to "get full" on my own bullshit?

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  I'm not the one lying here, kiddo

YalleryBrown19 [12:30 A.M.]:  yes u r

YalleryBrown19 [12:30 A.M.]:  thats not my name.................as im sure ninjarv2 is not yours

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  eh, I'll just call you Nokeo since it's something you respond to.

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  point out one place where I've lied to you.

NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  just one.

YalleryBrown19 [12:30 A.M.]:  lets see then

YalleryBrown19 [12:31 A.M.]:   NinjaRv2 [12:27 A.M.]:  do you think you represent your race by being dishonest?

(can anyone else figure out how this is a lie?)

NinjaRv2 [12:31 A.M.]:  that's asking a question.

YalleryBrown19 [12:31 A.M.]:  uhuh

NinjaRv2 [12:31 A.M.]:  I asked you if you think you're representing your race.

NinjaRv2 [12:31 A.M.]:  and...well, you are extremely dishonest.

YalleryBrown19 [12:31 A.M.]:  do u?

NinjaRv2 [12:31 A.M.]:  sure do!

YalleryBrown19 [12:31 A.M.]:  im sure..........ive met bettr white ppl

NinjaRv2 [12:32 A.M.]:  maybe you have, but you're still not answering any questions.

NinjaRv2 [12:32 A.M.]:  do you think you're representing your race by being dishonest?

YalleryBrown19 [12:33 A.M.]:  ask a question worth my time...........the question do u represent your race is asinine.............its stupid and the answer should be obvious

NinjaRv2 [12:33 A.M.]:  NinjaRv2 [12:32 A.M.]:  do you think you're representing your race by being dishonest?

NinjaRv2 [12:33 A.M.]:  here's another good one: NinjaRv2 [12:30 A.M.]:  point out one place where I've lied to you.

YalleryBrown19 [12:34 A.M.]:  where is the dihonesty?............u know me by nokeo from one of the umptenth site i gave that version of nokio to.....................i go by that and a lot of others..........now.................entertain me

NinjaRv2 [12:34 A.M.]:  for the third time, you claimed to be a space alien...then you claimed to be female...your MySpace says you're male.

NinjaRv2 [12:34 A.M.]:  I'm sure you're one of the three.

YalleryBrown19 [12:35 A.M.]:  under that one..........i have to others baby

NinjaRv2 [12:35 A.M.]:  so...there's some of that dishonesty for you.

NinjaRv2 [12:35 A.M.]:  so why did you lie about your gender?

YalleryBrown19 [12:35 A.M.]:  both female

NinjaRv2 [12:35 A.M.]:  nah, as a precaution, I took a screenshot of your MySpace profile...I figured you'd try to pull something like that.


And here's part of it.  Notice the "male" part of the profile.  Click the picture for the full 800x600 picture.

YalleryBrown19 [12:35 A.M.]:  its myspace................have u seen the publicity regarding that site...........its all negative

NinjaRv2 [12:36 A.M.]:  so...because it's getting negative publicity, you can't tell people what gender you are?

YalleryBrown19 [12:36 A.M.]:  the pisc of the bald black man in water........yea i know..........it also says i havent sign on in awhile eithr

NinjaRv2 [12:36 A.M.]:  says here your last log in was the 25th. (this conversation occurred May 1.  Its last log in was April 25th.  I'm not sure what someone's log in frequency is supposed to mean other than they don't check the account every once in a while.)

NinjaRv2 [12:37 A.M.]:  were you a female THEN and changed to a male or what?

NinjaRv2 [12:37 A.M.]:  or do space aliens just change gender at will?

YalleryBrown19 [12:37 A.M.]:  i barely sign on under the name nokeo why not check fuk-u_pay-me...........or quadesh..................then come back to me iigh


(You heard it here, folks.  Look him/her/space alien up on MySpace and give him all your love.

NinjaRv2 [12:37 A.M.]:  I'm not asking you what you sign in under.

NinjaRv2 [12:37 A.M.]:  I'm asking you why you lied about it.

YalleryBrown19 [12:38 A.M.]:  im askin you why are u dwellin on it

NinjaRv2 [12:38 A.M.]:  I don't care how many different names you sign in under...once again, I'm asking why you're dishonest.

YalleryBrown19 [12:38 A.M.]:  i told u why.........drop it

YalleryBrown19 [12:38 A.M.]:  u keep on and on bout somethin that really old

NinjaRv2 [12:38 A.M.]:  oh, so because MySpace gets negative publicity, you can't be female?

YalleryBrown19 [12:38 A.M.]:  didn u already askl me that ninja

NinjaRv2 [12:38 A.M.]:  if you'd answer the questions honestly and start being forthright instead of hiding, I wouldn't have to keep asking.

NinjaRv2 [12:39 A.M.]:  you never answered -- probably because you know it doesn't make any sense -- so I have to keep asking.

YalleryBrown19 [12:39 A.M.]:  why in the fuck would i be honest with 1 someone ive never met 2 wit a man whose been openly disrespectful to me..........u're insane

YalleryBrown19 [12:40 A.M.]:  cute..........but insane

NinjaRv2 [12:40 A.M.]:  well, you're honest on your other MySpace accounts, aren't you?

YalleryBrown19 [12:40 A.M.]:  no..............one says im 5'8 the othr 6'4

YalleryBrown19 [12:40 A.M.]:  im 5'7

NinjaRv2 [12:40 A.M.]:  oh, so you can't be honest there, either.

NinjaRv2 [12:40 A.M.]:  I get it now...you weave dishonesty throughout your life.

NinjaRv2 [12:40 A.M.]:  that must seriously suck.

YalleryBrown19 [12:40 A.M.]:  uh no........i dont know any of u muthafuckas

NinjaRv2 [12:41 A.M.]:  abandonment issues or something.

NinjaRv2 [12:41 A.M.]:  your parents weren't around much when you were younger, were they?

YalleryBrown19[12:41 A.M.]:  ye......that makes all the sense in the world ninja............tell someone who u r so they know who u r........in public...........no............im ok (but you'll find out I'm right in two messages.)

NinjaRv2 [12:42 A.M.]:  actually, if you knew much about why people do things they do, you'd understand why I'd think you have abandonment and identity issues.
YalleryBrown19 [12:42 A.M.]:  my moms........no.............workd days and night.....kinda did what the fuck i wanted to (like I said, her/his/space alien's parents weren't around.  Fuckin' retard told me it didn't make sense that I'd think parents weren't around, then turns around and admits I'm right.)

NinjaRv2 [12:42 A.M.]:  you can't even be honest on a profile about yourself.

NinjaRv2 [12:42 A.M.]:  what's someone gonna do with your HEIGHT?

NinjaRv2 [12:42 A.M.]:  NOTHING.

NinjaRv2 [12:43 A.M.]:  just like they can't do anything simply by knowing whether you're a guy, girl or space alien.

YalleryBrown19 [12:43 A.M.]:  i didnt mean my height

YalleryBrown19 [12:43 A.M.]:  i could say u have simply confusion with directions.......but im not sure yet

YalleryBrown19 [12:43 A.M.]:  simple*

NinjaRv2 [12:43 A.M.]:  I think you're confused with more than that.

YalleryBrown19[12:43 A.M.]:  i meant u but.................like i said

NinjaRv2 [12:44 A.M.]:  you really don't say a lot in the first place.

NinjaRv2 [12:44 A.M.]:  you use words, but you're not really saying anything.

YalleryBrown19[12:44 A.M.]:  exactly

NinjaRv2 [12:44 A.M.]:  that's pretty bad.

YalleryBrown19 [12:44 A.M.]:  to u

NinjaRv2 [12:44 A.M.]:  it's also why I think you have some issues you need to work out.

NinjaRv2 [12:44 A.M.]:  I wouldn't be surprised to find you have lots of anger issues, also. (I was right on this, also...you'll see in two messages.  For this bitch to sit there claiming I don't know her/him/it, I sure do know a lot about her/him/it.)

YalleryBrown19 [12:45 A.M.]:  who is normal ninja..........we all have problems.........if u say u dont u're a fuckn lie

YalleryBrown19 [12:45 A.M.]:  anger issues yes

NinjaRv2 [12:45 A.M.]:  oh, I have problems, but none that prevent me from having a normal life.

YalleryBrown19 [12:45 A.M.]:  always have had em

YalleryBrown19 [12:45 A.M.]:  why?

NinjaRv2 [12:46 A.M.]:  why?  Well, hell...mostly because I take personal responsibility for the things I do  and I don't make bad decisions.

YalleryBrown19 [12:46 A.M.]:  right........like i said a fuckn lie

NinjaRv2 [12:46 A.M.]:  my "problems" extend as far as "too damn tired to go lift weights tonight."

NinjaRv2 [12:46 A.M.]:  when people say "everyone," they mean themselves.

YalleryBrown19 [12:46 A.M.]:  right...........u need help then not me

NinjaRv2 [12:46 A.M.]:  it's a mechanism to try and internalize things.

YalleryBrown19 [12:46 A.M.]:  ok.........ninja

NinjaRv2 [12:47 A.M.]:  I think I know a little about what I mean.

YalleryBrown19[12:47 A.M.]:  ok.............u dont have in poroblems.........so your life;s perfect is what u're sayn?
NinjaRv2 [12:47 A.M.]:  nah, life's not perfect and isn't meant to be perfect.

YalleryBrown19 [12:48 A.M.]:  ok..........my bigma has a degree to........she has problems......that we ............my family all see..........yet ......she doesnt see em

NinjaRv2 [12:48 A.M.]:  I didn't say people with degrees have no problems.

NinjaRv2 [12:48 A.M.]:  people with degrees are SUPPOSED to be able to draw upon the things they've learned -- if they took those sorts of classes and have that sort of experience -- and tell things about people.

NinjaRv2 [12:49 A.M.]:  the sad thing here is that you have these frickin' abandonment issues and don't want to admit it.

NinjaRv2 [12:49 A.M.]:  you simply can't be honest.

NinjaRv2 [12:49 A.M.]:  no one's asking you to tell EVERYTHING ABOUT yourself.

YalleryBrown19 [12:49 A.M.]:  my grandmother.........let me make it proper for you ninny....................is almost 90........what the fuck r uy talkn bout

NinjaRv2 [12:49 A.M.]:  BUT...don't lie about it.

NinjaRv2 [12:49 A.M.]:  what the hell difference does it matter how old she is?

NinjaRv2 [12:50 A.M.]:  are you saying old people can't have problems?

YalleryBrown19 [12:50 A.M.]:  shes older than u...............has more education..................im younger than u and see holes in everythingu say......................ever the fact that most ppl hold what u say as the ultimate truth

NinjaRv2 [12:50 A.M.]:  if you're saying she's got whatever experience, you can stop now.

NinjaRv2 [12:50 A.M.]:  oh, really?

NinjaRv2 [12:51 A.M.]:  she has more education, huh?

NinjaRv2 [12:51 A.M.]:  which holes are you seeing through?

 

 



Will Yallery ever answer a question directly?  Will he/she/the space alien tell R which holes it's seeing through?  Will Yallery stop saying R doesn't know anything about him/her/it and then confirm everything R says?  FIND OUT TOMORROW in part TWO of Yallery!

Ninja R-

During the posting of this story, I listened to most of Blood Sugar Sex Magick by RHCP.  They lost the funk, but this CD is still pretty good.

See? You are not alone.  At any rate, you know there are other weirdos like you who have too much time on their hands and read this site.  Don't worry.  This site wraps its IP packets in plain brown envelops marked, "Hot Sex Action Books" so your neighbors won't know you've been here.  Anyway, to the extent this counter means something, it gives the number of hits we've received since March 19, 2006.  Whatever.